Best Coffee Quotes – Funny Quotes About Coffee

by Dan Harrington on March 22, 2011

Honest Abe Wants Either Coffee Or Tea

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea,” quipped President Abraham Lincoln, “but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

Robin Williams and the Demilitarized Zone

“Whatever it is, I like it!,” opined Robin William in the movie Good Morning Vietnam adding, “Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of Cappuccino.”

Clark Gable Needs Coffee To Laugh

It was the popular Clark Gable who noted that “I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.”

A Relative Theory About Coffee

“A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems,” stated Albert Einstein

Reflections on Coffee By Camus

“Should I kill myself,” pondered the famous Albert Camus, “or have a cup of coffee?”

Quality of Coffee Reveals Quality of Restaurant

“I judge a restaurant,” stated Burt Lancaster, “by the bread and by the coffee.”

Ah the Memories!

“Deja Brew,” it is said, “is the feeling that you have had this coffee before.”

After You Smell the Coffee You Can’t Go Back To Sleep

“Once you wake up and smell the coffee,” said Fran Drescher, “it’s hard to go back to sleep.”

This Is How They Make Coffee In Brazil

“Coffee in Brazil is always made fresh and, except at breakfast time, drunk jet black from demitasses first filled almost to the brim with the characteristic moist, soft coffee sugar of the country, which melts five times as fast as our hard granulated,” wrote Bob Brown and Cora Rose in the 1939 South American Cook Book, adding “For breakfast larger cups are used, and they’re more than half filled with cream. This cafe con leite doesn’t require so much sugar as cafe preto – black coffee.”

The Indulgence Of Coffee

“It is the duty of all papas and mammas to forbid their children to drink coffee, unless they wish to have little dried-up machines, stunted and old at the age of twenty,” said Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin adding, “I once saw a man in London, in Leicester Square, who had been crippled by immoderate indulgence in coffee; he was no longer in any pain, having grown accustomed to his condition, and had cut himself down to five or six cups a day.”

Best Coffee Quotes – Funny Quotes About Coffee continued:

Age Wine, Not Coffee – Starsky and Hutch

“Wine is for aging,” said Ken Hutchinson in Starsky and Hutch, adding “not coffee.”

Frederick the Great – The King Doesn’t Want Coffee Drinking Soldiers

“It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is using coffee,” said Frederick the Great during a lament in which he added “If possible this must be prevented. My people must drink beer. His Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were his officers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer; and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be depended upon to endure hardships or to beat his enemies in case of … another war.”

Cher Likes Good Coffee

“You make good coffee,” said Cher in Moonstruck adding, “You’re a slob, but you make good coffee.”

Conan O’Brien On Starbucks

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups,” joked Conan O’Brien adding, “The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’”

Coffee Stimulates Wit and Foils Sleep

“Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy,” stated a 1949 New York Times article about coffee, adding that it is “a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat.”

Funny Quotes About Coffee – Best Coffee Quotes in 2011 continued:

What Mae West Said About Coffee

“If I asked for a cup of coffee,” opined the alluring Mae West, “someone would search for the double meaning.”

The Arabic Coffee Progression

“The first cup is for the guest,” according to an old Arabic coffee saying, “the second for enjoyment, the third for the sword.”

Freshly Roasted Coffee Ground In Small Batches

“On Saturday mornings I would walk to the Flavor Cup or Puerto Rico Importing coffee store to get my coffee. Often it was freshly Roasted and the beans were still warm,” wrote Larie Colwin reflecting on the fine experience of gourmet coffee, adding “Coffee was my nectar and my ambrosia: I was very careful about it. I decanted my beans into glass…and I ground them in little batches in my grinder.”

What Is A Computer Programmer

“A person who turns software,” states the official computer programming definition, “into coffee.”

Arabic Coffee Poem

“O Coffee, thou dost dispel all care,” said an Arabic poem written in 1511 adding, “thou art the object of desire to the scholar.”

Coffee and Literature

“I like my coffee with cream,” said Abigail Reynolds in Pemberley by the Sea adding, “and my literature with optimism.”

Coffee Provides A Person With Time To Think

“Coffee is real good when you drink it gives you time to think. It’s a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening,” said the venerable Gertrude Stein adding, “Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup.”

Malcolm X – Adding Cream Makes Coffee Weak

“It’s just like when you’ve got some coffee that’s too black, which means it’s too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won’t even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep.” Message to the Grass Roots speech by Malcolm X, Nov., 1963

Erma Bombeck and the Great Coffee Compromise

“Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It’s the only thing “real” men do that doesn’t seem to threaten their masculinity,” said the prolific Erma Bombeck adding, “To women, it’s on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.”

Thomas Jefferson’s Comments About Hot Chocolate and Coffee

“The superiority of chocolate (hot chocolate), both for health and nourishment,” declared the Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, “will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain.”

Best Coffee Quotes – Funny Coffee Quotes – Great Saying About the Revered Bean

Enduring Hardship With Coffee

“Give a frontiersman coffee and tobacco, and he will endure any privation,” stated the brave Lieutenant William Whiting in 1849, adding “suffer any hardship, but let him be without these two necessaries of the woods and he becomes irresolute and murmuring.”

Coffee Expands The Working Day

“Coffee has expanded humanity’s working-day from twelve to a potential twenty-four hours,” wrote Margaret Meagher in To Think of Coffee in 1942 adding, “The tempo, the complexity, the tension of modern life, call for something that can perform the miracle of stimulating brain activity, without evil, habit-forming after-effects.”

Enjoy These Funny Quotes About Coffee – We Bring You All the Best Coffee Quotes in 2011

D.H. Lawrence Weighs In On Coffee

“Another head – and a black alpaca jacket and a serviette this time, mused, D.H. Lawrence in Sea and Sardinia, “to tell us coffee is ready. Not before it is time, too.”

Coffee Is the Golden Liquid – Savor It!

“In most households a cup of coffee is considered the one thing needful at the breakfast hour. But how often this exhilarating beverage, that ‘comforteth the brain and heateth and helpeth digestion’ is made muddy and ill-flavoured!,” said Janet McKenzie Hill in the 1902 Practical Cooking and Serving adding, “You may roast the berries ‘to the queen’s taste,’ and grind them fresh every morning, and yet, if the golden liquid be not prepared in the most immaculate of coffee-pots, with each return of morning, a new disappointment awaits you.”

Flaubert Opines About Being Swank With Coffee

“Coffee: Induces wit. Good only if it comes through Havre. After a big dinner party it is taken standing up,” said Gustave Flaubert adding “Take it without sugar — very swank: gives the impression you have lived in the East.”

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