Coffee Quotes Funny – Funny Coffee Quotes

by Dan Harrington on March 24, 2011

Witty and Interesting Sayings About Coffee By Famous People From All Walks Of Life

A Good Morning Vietnam Cup of Coffee

“What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it!,” said Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam adding, “Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of Cappuccino.”

How Bill Cosby Begins His Day

“Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older,” quipped Bill Cosby, “I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.”

Jennifer Aniston Has Coffee On the Deck

“I call it the ‘doll house,’ … It’s absolutely gorgeous,” effused the beautiful Jennifer Aniston adding, “especially at this time of year. It’s a crisp sky and, you know, if we wake up on a clear morning, and then I take little Norm out for a walk, have a little coffee on the deck.”

The Coffee of Reconciliation

“We shall prepare the coffee of reconciliation,” said Haitian president Jean-Bertrand Aristide in the New York Times in 1994, adding “through the filter of justice. Through reconciliation, streams of tears will come to our eyes.”

Edward Abbey, Culture and Gasoline

“Our culture,” said the renowned Edward Abbey, “runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.”

Steinbeck Orders Coffee

“So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee,” wrote the prolific John Steinbeck adding, “and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda.”

Bourbon Added To Lousy Coffee

“I make lousy coffee,” someone once admitted, adding, “That’s why I put bourbon in it.”

Anthony Quinn Serving Coffee in the Parlor

“See how special you are?” commented Anthony Quinn in The Black Orchid, “I serve you coffee in the parlor.

Coffee Quotes Funny

Byron On the Merits of Wine and Coffee

“‘Tis pity wine should be so deleterious,” lamented Lord Byron adding, “for tea and coffee leave us much more serious.”

The Murphy’s Law of Coffee

“As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,” according to the inviolable Murphy’s Law, “your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.”

Coffee Quotes Funny – Funny Coffee Quotes continued:

Eliot Measures Out His Life in Coffee Spoons

“For I have known them all already, known them all. Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons,” said Thomas Eliot in Love Song of Alfred Prufrock (1917) adding, “I know the voices dying with a dying fall. Beneath the music from a farther room.”

A Pistol On the Coffee Table

“A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table,” commented the storyteller Garrison Keillor adding, “There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it.”

Coffee and Forest Structure

Starbucks goes to a great effort, and pays twice as much for its coffee as its competitors do,” wrote Jared Diamond adding, “and is very careful to help coffee producers in developing countries grow coffee without pesticides and in ways that preserve forest structure.”

Coffee Ushers In A Serene Delight

In 1923 the Boston Transcript stated, “In a sad world, especially in a country like ours, recently and constitutionally deprived of wine, the function of coffee in bringing serene delight is an important one.”

Philosophical Coffee

“Coffee makes us severe,” said Jonathan Swift in 1722, “and grave and philosophical.”

Coffee and Migratory Birds

“Coffee is turning out to be quite a cosmic issue,” reflected Russell Greenberg of the Smithsonian Migratory Bird Center in 1996, adding “and the way it’s grown, marketed, and consumed has implications for the environmental health of the world.”

When Does Morning Begin?

“Morning doesn’t begin,” someone once said, “until after your second cup of coffee.”

Coffee Makes You Four Times Wittier Says Montesquieu

“The coffee is prepared in such a way that it makes those who drink it witty,” proclaimed Charles de Secondat Montesquieu adding, “at least there is not a single soul who, on quitting the house, does not believe himself four times wittier that when he entered it.”

Hemingway Orders A Cafe Au Lait

“It was a pleasant cafe, warm and clean and friendly, and I hung up my old water-proof on the coat rack,” said the venerable Ernest Hemingway adding, “to dry and put my worn and weathered felt hat on the rack above the bench and ordered a Caffe Au Lait.” Hemingway continued, “The waiter brought it and I took out a notebook from the pocket of the coat and a pencil and started to write.”

Enjoying Your Coffee Black

“Do I like my gourmet coffee black?,” someone who will remain anonymous once said, “There are other colors?”

Best Cuppa Coffee I Ever Had

“I’m sittin’ in the corner feelin’ glad, got no money comin’ in but I can’t be sad,” crooned the song Inside by Jethro Tull, continuing “That was the best cuppa coffee I ever had, And I won’t worry about a thing because we got it made, here on the Inside outside’s so far away.”

Natalie’s Picture On A Coffee Cup

“Natalie’s estate is handled by Global Icons,” stated the actor Robert Wagner adding, “and they police the world so her picture isn’t on a T-shirt or coffee cup unless we approve of it.”

Enjoy These Various Coffee Quotes Including Many Funny Quotes to Begin Your Day…With A Nice Cup of Gourmet Coffee Of Course!

Frederick The Great Tries To Ban Coffee – Favors Beer!

“It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects, and the amount of money that goes out of the country as a consequence,” said Frederick the Great of Prussia in 1777 adding, “Prussia’s wrote that, Everybody is using coffee; this must be prevented. His Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were both his ancestors and officers.” The coffee-o-phobic ruler added, “Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war.”

Coffee for the Body, the Lord for the Soul

“Coffee, according to the women of Denmark,” exclaimed Isak Dinesen, “is to the body what the Word of the Lord is to the soul.”

Dealing With People Is A Commodity Like Coffee

“The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee,” lectured John D. Rockefeller adding, “And I pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.”

Funny Coffee Quotes – Coffee Quotes Funny continued:

Young Whippersnapper Gets A Lesson

“Don’t laugh at the coffee,” said the elderly man to the youngster, adding “Some day you, too, may be old and weak.”

Coffee Dispels Care, It Is the Drink of God’s People

It was the the son of Mohammed, Sheikh Abudul Kadir, who stated in 1850 in his Treatise on Modern Stimulants: “O coffee, thou displlest the cares of the great: thou bringest back those who wander from the paths of knowledge. Coffee is the beverage of the people of God, and the cordial servants who thirst for wisdom. The treatise continues: “Every care vanishes when the cup bearer present thee the delicious chalice. It will circulate fleetly through thy veins, and will not rankle there: if thou doubtest this, contemplate the youth and beauty of those who drink it. Coffee is the drink of God’s people, in it is health.” Sheikh Abudul Kadir adds, “ Whoever has seen the blissful chalice, will scorn the wine cup. Glorious Drink! Thy colour is the seal of purity, and reason proclaims it genuine. Drink with confidence, and regard not the prattle of fools, who condemn with foundation.”

Funny Coffee Quotes continued:

Coffee and Heaven

“Coffee smells,” exclaimed Jessi Lane Adams, “like freshly ground heaven.”

French Coffee and Radiance of Wisdom

“If thou fill thy brain with Boston and New York,” reflected the esteemed writer Ralph Waldo Emerson, “with fashion and covetousness, and wilt stimulate thy jaded senses with wine and French coffee, thou shalt find no radiance of wisdom in the lonely waste of the pinewoods.”

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