Funny Quotes

Humorous Quotes About Life – Funny Quotes

Courtney Love, Cocaine and Coffee

“Cocaine,” declared the inimitable Courtney Love, “is like really evil coffee.”

Burt Lancaster Considers the Coffee

“I judge a restaurant,” said the debonair Burt Lancaster, “by the bread and the coffee.”

Coffee Over A Charcoal Fire

“The coffee was boiling over a charcoal fire,” wrote the renowned author Charles Dickens, “and large slices of bread and butter were piled one upon the other like deals in a lumber yard.”

Bach’s Ode To Coffee

It was the famous Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750) who penned the verse: “Ah! How sweet coffee tastes! Lovelier than a thousand kisses, sweeter far than muscatel wine! I must have my coffee.” The lines come from Bach’s renowned Kaffee-Kantate.

Coffee and Danishes – Funny Quotes continued:

“Man does not live by coffee alone,” someone once said, adding “Have a danish!”

Savor Your Coffee While You Are Able

“The best Maxim I know in this life is, to drink your Coffee when you can, and when you cannot, to be easy without it,” stated the famed Jonathan Swift adding, “While you continue to be splenetic, count upon it I will always preach.” Swift continued, “Thus much I sympathize with you that I am not cheerful enough to write, for I believe Coffee once a week is necessary to that.”

Funny Quotes – Don’t Let the Coffee Get Cold!

“As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,” states the omnipresent Murphy’s Law, “your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.”

Coffee Doesn’t A Morning Person Make

“All the coffee in Colombia,” someone once said, “won’t make me a morning person.”

The Joys of Fragrant Coffee In the Morning

“The morning cup of Cafe Noir is an integral part of the life of a Creole household. The Creoles hold as a physiological fact that this custom contributes to longevity,” stated the The Picayune Creole Cook Book in 1909, “and point, day after day, to examples of old men and women of fourscore, and over, who attest to the powerful aid they have received through life from a good, fragrant cup of coffee in the early morning.”

Mash and Coffee and More Funny Quotes – Laugh!

“Coffee,” emoted Major Winchester on the MASH television show,  is not supposed to be a solid!”

The Pope’s Ode To Coffee

“Last comes the beverage of the Orient shore,” wrote the venerable Pope Leo XII adding, ““Mocha, the far off, the fragrant berries bore, Taste the dark fluid with a dainty lip, Digestion waits on pleasure as you sip.”

Espresso Is Like Champagne

“Espresso,” someone once said, “is to Italy what champagne is to France.”

Believing In Coffee

“Everybody should believe in something,” someone once said, “I believe I’ll have another cup of coffee.”

More Funny Quotes

“Just bring me my coffee,” said the disgruntled, half-asleep non-morning person “and slowly back away!”

“Dinsdale, He was a nice boy,” it was said on Monty Python, “He nailed my head to a coffee table.”

“The smell of coffee cooking was a reason for growing up, because children were never allowed to have it,” wrote Edna Lewis in The Taste of Country Cooking, “and nothing haunted the nostrils all the way out to the barn as did the aroma of boiling coffee.

How Long Is Forever – Funny Quotes About Coffee

“Forever,” someone once said, is the “time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning.”

“Coffee, Jamaican blend,” said O’Brien in Star Trek DS9, “double-strong, double-sweet.”

“I’ve just arrived in New York City. What a place!,” it was said on the TV show Twin Peaks, “Just smell those skyscrapers. Had breakfast at a little deli on Ninth Avenue. Cheese Danish and a cup of coffee, black as a moonless night. Hit the spot.”

Barbara Streisand Weighs In On Coffee

“Why don’t you have a cup of coffee at least? I, um, I’m a little low in sugar,” said Barbara Streisand, “and I don’t have any cream, but it’s real coffee.”

It was Sheik Abd al-Qadir who proclaimed the now famous saying: “No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.”

“Chocolate, men, and coffee,” someone once said adding, “some things are better rich.”

Let no man grumble when his friends fall off, As they will do like leaves at the first breeze,” Byron wrote in Don Juan adding, “When your affairs come round, one way or t’other, Go to the coffee house, and take another.”

Also see: Buy Coffee Online – Best Coffee In the World

Pretty Funny Quotes – The Problem Is When I Don’t Have Caffeine

I don’t have a problem with caffeine,” someone once said, “I have a problem without caffeine.”

“His most frequent ailment was the headache,” it was said in the Life of Pope by Dr. Johnson, “which he used to relieve by inhaling the steam of coffee.”

“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee,” said comedian and late night talk show host David Letterman, “I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”

Enjoying Cappuccino Funny Quotes About Coffee and Life

“I like Cappuccino, actually,” said David Lynch adding, “But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.”

“Cafe society is as old as the hills,” said Ian Anderson, “Starbucks and its imitators are the coffee face of the new man in a hurry.”

These Are Some Funny Quotes and Interesting Quotes

“Coffee, according to the women of Denmark,” said the famed Isak Dinesen, “is to the body what the Word of the Lord is to the soul.”

Thank You for Reading Funny Quotes On Gourmet Coffee Lovers!